Award season is upon us here at the Canadian Premier League offices, with Forge FC’s Tristan Borges cleaning up at the ~official~ version by winning the Golden Boot, U-21, and Player of the Year prizes, and Marco Carducci and Tommy Wheeldon Jr. claiming Goalkeeper and Coach of the Year, respectively.
But … CanPL Editorial figured five awards wasn’t quite enough to celebrate. So, in that spirit, and obviously having been inspired by the fine folks at Waking the Red for their own tongue-in-cheek prizes, here’s our official unofficial awards for 2019.
The “Gorgeous Borges” award
Best-looking CPL player
The nominees are:
- Tristan Borges (Forge FC)
- Mason Trafford (Cavalry FC)
- Marco Bustos (Valour FC)
- Andre Rampersad (HFX Wanderers FC)
And the winner is …
The “Courtesy of OneSoccer” Award
Satisfaction-factor of a goal-scoring play
The nominees are:
- Tristan Borges’s outstanding Olimpico
- Louis Beland-Goyette’s baffling bomba.
- Manny Aparicio’s SportsCenter smasher
- Kadell Thomas’ sensational solo
And the winner is …
The “Nakajima-Ferry” award
Best off-field storyline of 2019
The nominees are:
- Issey Nakajima-Farran buying a house boat to live in, obviously
- FC Edmonton’s unorthodox pre-season camping trip
- Forge FC playing in an empty San Pedro Sula
- The Alberta fire pancake breakfast at Clarke Field
And the winner is …
Bedroom for tonight!!! #CharacterBuilding pic.twitter.com/8CMJfDSpOb
— Jeff_Paulus (@jeff_paulus) March 7, 2019
The “Skublak winning like $2K at the blackjack table in Punta Cana” Award
Biggest gamble that paid off
The nominees are:
- York9 sticking to the game-plan all season
- Using Emery Welshman cap space for David Edgar (Forge FC)
- Terran Campbell replacing Marcus Haber up top (Pacific FC)
- Dominick Zator stepping in at right-back (Cavalry FC)
And the winner is …
The “Saddest backflip of my career” Award
Best goal celebration
The nominees are:
- Jose Escalante’s corner flag giddy-up (Cavalry FC)
- Nik Ledgerwood’s unexplainable wiggle (Cavalry FC)
- Oumar Diouck embraces the Eddies faithful (FC Edmonton)
- Forge’s last-minute Finals 2019 clincher (featuring Barton St. Battalion in Calgary).
And the winner is …
The “I’m leaving social media” Award
Tweet of the Year
The nominees are:
- Valour FC: “Final…ly over”*
- York9 FC: It’s a dog-eat-dog world
- Forge, Cavalry, why can’t we be friends?
- Sergio Camargo makes a cameo appearance
And the winner is …
Final…ly over. #ForValour | #CanPL pic.twitter.com/yBdvNgobZA
— ValourFC (@ValourFootball) September 2, 2019
*And every other thing Valour tweeted during 2019, because one tweet cannot capture the totality of their wit and sassiness.
The “Kurt, if you’re watching this …” Award
Best quote from 2019
The nominees are:
- Jeff Paulus on Prince Amanda: “It took me 27 games to realize I have a winger who can do that.”
- John Herdman on facing the U.S.: “It’ll be blood, guts and thunder from us regardless.”
- Stephen Hart on work ethic: “The ball doesn’t sweat.”
- Anthony Novak on scoring form: “Something I had been craving, but hadn’t had in a while, were the breakfast sausages.”
And the winner is …
